Stephanie Smith’s Blog

This is a video my friend Matt sent me that he and his brother made on the issue of heroin abuse. He sent it to me because they are trying to generate some views on YouTube and other social media.
Please check it out and share it with friends if you feel compelled.
Change is possible

I just got home and spent an evening in my own condo, with my very own wonderful roommates, in my very own sweat pants! This hasn’t happened in over a month and a half- what a great first night of 2010! I’ve been all over the country and typically I don’t like coming home because I really just love being on the road, but this time I was ready for a few days to be home. I actually really want to clean my room, get rid of a bunch of clothes/shoes/etc, grocery shop and do laundry… weird? Yes, at least for me- but I’m getting started tomorrow people!
I also am excited to connect with people I haven’t seen in weeks! And go to church! Yay…
And most of all, at least at this moment, I love my very own bed…
I’ll share some fun road stories soon… who know’s I may even share some not fun home stories
Peace Peeps

Here is what we did on our day off in Billings, Montana. It was a blast… and I had high score of the first game… 170, not my best- but pretty good for a warm up game. Yeehaw..

Hello Everyone!
I’m writing you from the lounge in my tour bus. It was an interesting day here in ND for me, I just felt a little sad- I’m not sure why, but I suppose those days are going to happen here and there. I woke up in a building, on a bus. I haven’t seen the outdoors today. Tonight I really felt unprepared to take the stage, I was having a heart to heart with my dear friend Nirva in our dressing room when Kadar, my drummer came running in and said “This is B’s last song- lets go!” I got to side of stage, still drying up from a few tears I had shed, and the show began. It took me a minute to get into the set, but I am so thankful for such a sweet and welcoming audience! Grand Forks, you rock! Thanks for being on your feet, clapping and cheering back. You have no idea how much that means to us- you encouraged me tonight.
I’m trying to figure out how to post pictures on my posts… I know it’s sad, but I have no idea. So when I do, I’ll show you some sweet shot’s we’ve got from this run so far.
Thanks again for all your support, whether it be in prayer, buying merch, or just a smile and involvement at a show! You rock!!!
May God bless you!
S

This is a typical Wed night around these parts…. check it out

I love animals…. annnnd this makes me so happy- check it out! and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Well Hello, I realize I fell off the blogging wagon… AGAIN, but here I am. I spent the weekend in Tampa, and it was challenging, lonely, fun and beautiful, and I took 20 pages of notes (no exaggeration) at the conference I was attending. Obviously I am still digesting all of it, but this morning I started to put some thoughts together on the concept of hope. I’m processing as I write, but here is where I’m at right now:

We live our lives afraid to hope or dream because we’ve been taught by either experience, others, the world, the church, evil etc that it is foolish and we’re just going to be disappointed, so why bother to hope?

The problem here is our core being, our hearts were wired to hope. We cannot turn hope off entirely, so we kill it as it sprouts- experiencing small deaths every time hope rears its head at breaking ground. We don’t want to experience the pain of full blown disappointed hope, so we kill it as soon as we sense it, thus creating the illusion we are in control. We manage our hope by not being entirely present in our relationships, ministry, dreams, and life by numbing hope so we don’t really feel much pain, or much of anything for that matter.

The issue with not feeling is that pain was meant to be our prime teacher. CS Lewis says “Pain is God’s megaphone to wake us up.” If we don’t feel pain, how can we make good judgment- the lines begin to blur between what’s right and wrong. Hope is the capacity to dream redemption for ourselves and others. Talk about “unrealistic”- that sounds like an illusion, but to not believe in redemption is to minimize the Cross and say it was not enough- don’t do that.

To dream (or hope) creates a sense of purpose and self that opens doors for revolution. We’ve bought into the lie that we are so-so, average, not too good, not too bad people who are therefore not really much of a threat to kingdom of darkness. When did we start listening to the whisper in our ear telling us our life isn’t beautifully unique? Does this upset you?!

The sneaky progression of becoming a cynic, and not allowing ourselves to feel joy or pain is that when we stop hoping, we lose a sense of self. When you lose your sense of self, or minimize your role on earth, you lose a desire for justice. We stop believing in redemption. Pain, our own or others, motivates us to justice.

Awe and gratitude can change our hearts. Gratitude starts when we embrace the awe that is ours- our unique face resembles the King of the universe. It reveals a piece of Him that none other ever will or has before and represents a role that was cut out in this time of eternity for you- only you. Steps to repentance could mean identifying and facing how you’ve hated and tried to kill hope in your own life.

We all carry stories. They are ours forever, unique to each one. I’m sure there is heartache and injustice in yours. There is in mine. But if we lose a sense of pain, we cannot empathise with others. If we lose the desire for vengeance, we have no heart for justice, and if we don’t get angry about this we cannot be strong when others are wronged. I don’t know if Christians are angry enough. We can sure be mean, but how strong are we? What kind of wars are we fighting for justice? Is there any sense of sorrow or grief for the hurting? What about the widows? Orphans? Poor? HELLO!?! I’m angry over this. I am part of a “Christian culture” and we prefer the “comfort” of living as apathetic cynics.

Nope, not me. Call me a fool, but I am a dreamer. I will hope and dream for the impossible. So impossible only God can do it. We’ve got to be willing to bleed for our dreams. We’ve got to dream so big we’ll assuredly fail with out the Lord.